4 types of mentality fixes that reduce anxiety in a stressful society
In our daily lives, we come across tons of stressors that bombard us. You will need to learn how to redirect the tons of stress traffic in your life. Your body is a vehicle that will stop if your stress makes you malfunctional.
Do you agree that we need to do something to push these stressors away? !!
We all had those days where we were drained of energy. When we came back from work, our whole body was touching the floor while walking. Those feelings made you feel like a pancake. It would take me time to change my clothes and relax.
In my experience ,there have been certain mentalities that had increased stress for me.
What are those mentalities and what are some remedy-thought processes to use?
At multiple times, my distorted mentalities have stressed me out.
These four mentalities are:
1. Predicting the future.
Every time I would get ready for my grand interview I would think that someone in my family would ask me to do something before leaving. This would bring great fear into my mind.
I would start listing things I would need to do. You know I am a detail-oriented individual.
So this is what happens in my head.....
":I don't have enough time.... What do I have to do before interview? Hit shower for 5mins at least... brush my teeth each angle.... take out the iron board and iron... I hope my dad does not ask me to do something; I get a feeling like I'm going to get mugged along a narrow alleyway... Look over questions to get myself mentally prepared... What is one weakness you have? My brain starts cranking its gears..... As I started making it to the finishline, my mind starts to sprint.... My mom is going to say something.. As the aggressive sprinter I become, my internal Tasmanian devil grows. "
These thoughts make me kill my brain juices when instead I could have just prepared for my day.
How do you manage with such mental chaos ? You need to engrain a thought that you can not predict events. If you feel that you can predict the future, then you build more mental resistance. The whole list of thoughts above highlight the mental inflexibility.
What's the mentality fix in detail?
We want to be focused on the present moment. There are many things that can help you stay anchored to the present such as meditation, applied relaxation and proper breathing. We must ask ourselves how do you know something is going to happen? An internal voice will reply and say: You could not have known.
The next mentality is worse than this.
2. Mind reading We usually tend to assume many things or what we consider as mind reading. Strong emotions can influence us to believe that we can mind read. There are instances you come across a person who comes off angry, but in reality he or she could be dealing with the struggles of the day or just plain stressed.
There is a question you must ask yourself to keep your thoughts in check: Do you really believe the person is angry? or is stress? or any other specific question.
Look at the following cases.
"Damn my sales deal did not go through..... I have ultimate bowel issues today like I will never leave the house..... I want to cook dinner,but I have way too much work today."
People with above issues can again come off angry with you. What questions should you ask again?
Now lets switch it up from angry people to rude people. I can tell you that I have noticed this sort of pattern when I was in door-to-door sales. In the sales game, you cold approach people.
The girl or guy you approach are rude.Let me add that there have been times I approached rude-looking girls and they happened to be sweethearts. This brings us back to the point we can not know what someone is thinking. We can misjudge body language, vocal tone and other things.
What's the mentality fix?
In this flawed mentality, you rely more on assumption. When a person has the impression of an angry, you will try "mind read". However, you can not do that because the truth could be the complete opposite. We want to ask questions to break the assumptive mentality. How do I know he's angry? or How do you know he's a rude person? The rude person can lack some skills that makes him appear rude. Nobody knows the story of anyone.
You think this is bad... look at the next mentality.
3.Having unrealistic expectations.
Have you ever been in a mindset that you feel you can take on multiple tasks at a time?I have been there and still doing it. The only difference between before and now is the understanding I’m doing it. It’s the acknowledgement to the self that’s worth it.
Do not hold unrealistic expectations like the following:
" In my business, I have a goal of calling 30 calls in 30 mins because I sometimes have an overambitious mindset. I get so ambitious like I feel as if I can rip the tree out of the sidewalk. But thats besides the point... Some days I hit 40 calls per 30 mins and some days 20 calls."
The mental expectation is that we have to hit the number that we mentally want. Of course these expectations are accompanied by mental pictures that energize you.However, this is just the perception you want as long as you do not physically exhaust the body through distress.These unrealistic expectations are more a demand than a want. We need to find the perfect balance. This leads to the question:
What do you do to make your expectations real?
a. Figure out your skills. Your skills will determine the strengths that you have and it will allow you do tasks around it.
b. Remember the experiences.Your experiences of similar situations will allow you to build a feeling of confidence. We want to transfer our past confidence into future events.
c. Find out how can you automate. Build in the tasks as a ritual. Automation comes about either from tools or habits.Habits are there so that you can handle a task on a daily basis without a thought. Thinking is what lengths our process of completing.
Lets take the above example with phone sales.
The skill I have is the non-stop calling. I have built this from door-to-door sales. I want to transfer my confidence of doing this from the past. There are tasks I can automate such as writing emails and notes at the same time.
I want to mention I like to have quality conversations too. This “quality conversation” skill kicks in as soon as I come across the right person. At the end of the day, whether it’s 30 or 1 conversation per half an hour, I would not care.
The next one is straight forward.
4. Not stating your mind
You guys have probably had this feeling before where you did not want to express yourself because this person might explode at you, and/or disrespect your thoughts. To some extent, this issue is a subjective one. The fear exists in our head.
Whats the simple quick fix for this mentality?
We want to say something to the person no matter. We want to visualize a weight lifting off our chest and putting it on others. By acknowledging your emotions, it relieves you from the stress of stating your opinion. At the end, we are in a state of calmness.
So speak up and obtain the calm state.
